I turned 44 this year and, until recently, have not fully explored the justification for my many failed relationships both romantic and familial. Certainly, I had pondered over the years what I was doing wrong when interacting with my family or why I just seemed to have such bad luck with men.
Then, recently I was told by somebody I am very “flat” in interpersonal situations, and I have no affect. They went on to explain it was in direct conflict with my public persona because I am typically very charming, gregarious, popular, and social. My first reaction was to be surprised, until I thought about something somebody else said about me once. They said I treat everybody as if I am conducting business with them. While I would never have thought it to be an insult, I am now beginning to take pause at the thought.
So, I want to explore the notion of being “the flat girl”, not necessarily a girl with no personality, as I have plenty to spare… but rather a girl who, for some reason, does not have the ability to share emotion or feeling with those closest to me. I want to write this blog and explore those feelings, thoughts, and emotions and hope others will explore theirs as well.